faiLuRe is neVer fiNaL....

i've been thinking of posting this a while ag0 since i haven't posted much these days...well,lots of things that i need 2 say actually,but most of it lost before i managed to reach this so...so unfortunate maybe...huhu...
but i think i've made my point with the title over there...yup!samo words...but i'm actually trying to soothe myself with those words actually..for those who didn't know,i had failed the final xm last time, and so i have to repeat another year in 1st year..how glad will i be,stays young for another year...
to tell u the truth,i was so...sad...i'm a disgrace to myself, my family...that was what i'm thinking back there...nevertheless, i have to agree, no obstacle is given to those who can't handle it...i dunno if that's right, but my point is, there's always a reason behind some unhappy things that happened to us.. for me, i was grateful that i knew, i have lots of friends...not just friends,but true friends...and on top of them, i have a good friend...and i'm missing her right now...it's been 2 days since i've come home, and i've already miss her so much...hehe...
oops..there i go again, away from the topic...ok,come back already...that time when the result is announced, and the time where my name's supposed to be recited, which never happened, was the time where i'm truly depressed with myself...i was thinking, how will i be able to meet my friends anymore...everybody who had suceeded...i felt so small at that time that i want to crush myself with something...luckily, they helped me to stand again...but then, when i told my sister 'bout this, she was so upset that she even cried with me thru that phone..i've tried to be strong and not to cry, but as soon as i heard her voice i burst into tears instantly...she has put high hopes on me, but i've let her down....the same goes when my mom called her and wanted to talk with me...i just couldn't stop crying....but then, i got calmed when my mom scolded me for crying over my first failure...it's not the end of the world...there's still chance for me...as my sister said, people will never ask when i'm a doctor whether i was a repeater or not...as long as i manage to be a good and of course, professional doctor...but another thing that made me sad is that things will never b the same anymore...my friends, i can no longer be with them everytime even if i wanted to..i used to be such a thick-skinned, but i guess i can no longer be one after this...that requires extra courage u see...i cried everytime i think 'bout it that i can't no longer go 2 lectures with my friends, joke around during break time...although there're still many friends that share the same condition like me, but i really want to be with other friends too...

for my friends who had passed, congratz..i just hope u guys won't look down at us..help us, because ur support really helps...never forget me even if u really wanted to...huhu..i'm sorry for all the mistakes that i've done, the offense to anyone...thanls to all my friends who had brought happiness into my life...i was never this excited during the first year(is it?) hehe...whatever it is, i wish u all the happiness in life, blessings from God and success in ur life now and hereafter...

wallahualam...

wiN, L0sE @ dRaw...

Life is a challenge...ever since we were born, nothing is made easy 4 us...we had 2 go thru lots of difficulties 2 understand what life really means..whether it's meaningful, whether we've wasted it or no change...those are the boring life that makes people do stupid things 2 find happiness...they never knew that the real happiness is when we are being loved, and not just being loved, but being loved by Allah..the most merciful...the almighty...
this is another concept that people especially muslims had left out behind...we were busy with our job 2 get high salary,busy with our study 2 be the best student among the nation, but we forgot who gave us all those things...all the wealth,health and else...our God,Allah s.w.t. He gave us a brain 2 think, all those complex creation in our body..that's why we are the greatest creation..human...eventhough humans are known as the weakest creation compared to angels and devils..but still, Allah has His own reason to put humans as the 'khalifah' on earth...that's why we have to worship Allah the almighty 2 get his blessing, his taufiq & hidayah so that we won't get lost in this journey of life...
a simple example is my professional xm last week...it has just ended last thursday(yea~), i can't really say it's hard but it's kinda hard..hehe...of course, who shall give u easy questions for medical student...i'm not one though, but still i have 2...well, life must go 0n not matter what...i was thinking how will i be able 2 get high scores when i was 2 busy during those days..(i didn't know i was busy doing what..hehe...) but when i think back, i began 2 realize, it's not 100% effort that counts, it's effort + prayers + tawakkal..insyaAllah...He'll give us what we deserve...all we got 2 do is ask...seek anything from Him, and you'll be surprised...He shall always be there when u need Him...because He loved us...2 bad though 4 people who still didn't realize...and in this fight of life, we are able 2 choose whether we win, lose or draw..and i choose winning...because Islam always wins...
wallahualam...muhasabah diri for me and everybody who read this...syukran jazilan kasira...